Finding Closure with Christ

I was thinking about closure the other day,

about how so many times in our lives,

we don't get it.

We don't get the apologies we want or the explanations that we deserve.

When there's no resolution to a situation,

it can be extremely frustrating.

But it can also prevent us from.

From moving forward.

So when those situations present themselves,

we must realize that it's up to us to find a way to gain closure for ourselves.

Welcome back to Born to Be a Butterfly,

where we embrace healing and growth so we can step into true transformation.

My name is Nina Pajones,

and I pray that today's episode ministers to you.

The Lord put it on my heart to say that if we don't seek closure in these situations,

we're subconsciously holding onto them.

You might be clinging onto it for dear life because you don't know who you're going to be without it,

without this relationship,

or maybe without this person.

Even bruised, battered and betrayed, you have your hands on it with a death grip,

trying to cling on to the thing that is obviously not meant for you,

if it ever was.

Christ wants you to close the chapter.

And you keep saying,

no, I can't,

because I need to understand why.

I need to know why they did this to me. And they have to explain themselves to me. How could they do this to me?

You lied to yourself,

saying that's the only reason that you haven't fully walked away from the situation,

from the destruction.

You make that your excuse as to why you can't move forward,

and you just stand there looking at the wreckage.

But I'm here to tell you it's a lie.

And trust me when I tell you it's a lie that the enemy desperately wants you to believe.

He wants you to believe that you need that apology.

He wants you to believe that you need that explanation and that there's no way that you could possibly move forward without either of those things.

And the reason I know that is because I believed the same exact thing in the past.

And I have wasted so much time and I have caused myself so much more pain because I kept putting off the ending that I deserved and that I needed.

I kept myself stuck in a situation,

and I kept saying it was because of them, but honestly,

it was because of me.

I wasn't quite ready to have that person or that place or those people or that job or whatever it was.

I wasn't ready for it to be in the rearview mirror of my life.

And that's the truth.

But you've got to be honest with yourself.

Even if you sat with the person that broke your heart,

even if you sat with the friend who betrayed you,

even if they told you why they did it,

would it make you feel better?

Do you think you're going to be freed by that?

Do you think you're going to be healed by that?

The reasons aren't going to remedy the situation.

It's not going to heal it.

Grace, will.

Mercy will.

Forgiveness will.

Moving forward will.

Setting boundaries and finding your own closure with Christ will.

I know. You want to understand how they could do it.

I know.

I get it.

I did, too.

It's a valid question.

But you're not going to understand how they did it if you never would,

right?

You're trying to comprehend the thoughts and actions of a person whose mind you do not have and whose heart you do not want.

Let me be clear, sis.

You won't heal your wound with the one who hurt you.

You're going to heal your wound with the help of Heaven.

And please,

please hear me when I say this.

If you do not stitch up that emotional wound,

it is going to destroy you bit by bit and day by day.

We are not equipped to heal the wounds of this world.

So when I say to spiritually stitch it up, I'm not asking for you to do it by yourself.

That's not what I'm suggesting.

Not at all.

I'm suggesting that you bring it to our Savior,

who is also known as the Great Physician.

If you don't bring it to him,

the wound that their wickedness gave you will fester.

It will start eroding your faith,

and eventually you're going to get a spiritual infection.

Before you know it,

bitterness,

anger and resentment will start oozing out of you,

and you'll wonder where it came from.

The Lord will heal you with his love.

You are seen and known by your heavenly Father and by His Son,

and you will begin to feel the peace that surpasses all understanding once you realize that you have not been forsaken or forgotten.

Because, let's be honest, sis,

isn't sometimes the worst part of the whole thing the thought that these people or that person,

that they might actually forget the horrible thing that they did to you that broke your heart into what felt like a million pieces?

The thing that you're still struggling with, the thing that you might still be having nightmares about, and they're just gleefully living their lives, and they probably don't even think about it anymore,

that.

That can really just make the healing so much harder to come by.

And again, that's how bitterness comes in and that's how cynicism comes in. Because those thoughts are intrusive and we start to believe that. And maybe they do forget or maybe they don't, but either which way, it really doesn't matter.

The only thing that matters is that they did it.

And the only thing that matters is that you have to move on from it.

And the only question you should be asking yourself is how you're going to move on from it and who you're going to move on from it with.

And that is the Lord.

You must bring your broken heart and your wounded soul to our Savior.

He will help you heal so that you don't build walls around your heart.

Because let me tell you something.

Walls that are built from wounds aren't protection.

They are prisons.

The Lord will teach you how to guard your heart and still be a good person where you could still have gratitude and grace for other people.

And when faith has finished its job,

you will forgive them,

because that's what we're called to do.

Once the wounds are healed,

they become spiritual scars of our Savior's love.

Not that he delivered the blow to us,

but that he delivered us from the blow that we were dealt.

The Lord will let us know when it's time to leave,

and he will provide the closure.

And what I have found out is Christ will meet us in the corridor between the door we just closed and the one we have yet to open.

He will sit with us and keep us safe as he begins to heal us during that sacred time with our Savior. He will teach us the lesson that can be found in the loss so that we can step into the next season with greater wisdom and strength.

We have to learn how to walk away without looking back.

We cannot be like Lot's wife.

Some of you might not be familiar with that story,

so I'm going to explain it to you because this is a really important lesson.

Before we speak about Lot's wife,

we need to discuss two cities.

Sodom and Gomorrah.

These cities were consumed by sin.

Not just personal mistakes,

but full blown rebellion against God.

The people there were prideful,

violent,

immoral, and completely indifferent to God's ways.

It had reached a level where God in His holiness,

could no longer allow it to continue.

But even in his judgment of the cities,

God extended mercy.

He sent angels to rescue a man named Lot and his family.

He sent the angels to pull them out of the place that would destroy them spiritually.

Basically,

what God was telling them was,

this place is not for you.

If you stay here,

you will be consumed along with it.

When God rescued Lot and his family from Sodom,

his instructions were very clear.

He said,

do not look back.

But Lot's wife couldn't resist.

She turned around,

gazing longingly at the place that God had just delivered her from.

And in that moment,

she became a pillar of salt.

That's exactly what can happen to us emotionally and spiritually when we keep revisiting the places,

people and relationships that God is calling us to release,

when we keep looking back,

longing for what was,

even if what was was toxic.

God isn't being cruel when he tells us to let these things go.

He's being compassionate.

And now I want to tell you about a very special and sacred moment that I had with God where he showed me a vision.

He showed me a vision of people betraying me.

I mean, I saw the situation.

I saw the people and the knowledge of what they had conspired to do against me.

It was revealed to me in this vision.

It was unmistakable. It was as clear as day,

and yet it was night. It was 11 o' clock at night,

thereabouts, maybe.

I was sitting in my living room trying to figure out what to do about the situation because I was so conflicted and I was so confused.

And then all of a sudden,

God showed me that vision.

And the full depth of their betrayal saturated my soul in that moment.

I couldn't deny it.

I couldn't pretend I didn't see it.

I couldn't pretend I didn't know what was going on.

God showed me something that hurt me so deeply.

But it wasn't that he wanted to hurt me.

He wanted me to know what happened because he saw things that I didn't.

The vision startled me so much,

and the depth of the betrayal was so deep that I got physically sick,

like, immediately.

I bent over and I started gagging because I thought I was gonna throw up.

I really.

I was going to. I don't even know how I stopped myself, to be honest with you.

I was sitting on the couch in my living room,

and my whole world felt like it blew up because I couldn't believe.

I could not believe the depths of the animosity that was prevalent in that situation.

It was really difficult to digest that emotionally and spiritually and mentally.

And I'm not saying this happened recently. I'm not saying when it happened. It doesn't matter when it did,

and it doesn't matter who it was,

and it doesn't matter where it happened or any of those things. It doesn't matter.

And I'll never get into,

like, the dirty little details of things like that, because that's not what this is about.

It's not about that. It's about the lessons I've learned in these things, from these things.

So if you hear me getting emotional,

don't assume it's a recent event,

because actually it's not.

This horrible thing happened to me quite some time ago.

I have since forgiven that person, those people.

I have forgiven that situation. I have moved on.

I pray for those people.

That's the beauty of how the Lord will heal you,

is that he will bring you to a place where you can do that.

I know that God showing me that vision was exceedingly difficult and painful for me.

But I know that my God is good.

And the only reason he did it was to help me close that chapter.

But he also knew that if I kept waiting around for an apology,

I would have stayed trapped in that pain indefinitely.

Because the truth is, the longer we stay in these situations,

the longer we take to close the door and turn the page and close the chapter and start a new one. The longer it takes for us to do that,

the longer we're leaving ourselves accessible to the pain and the hurt.

It's like death by a thousand cuts.

We're asking God to heal a wound, but as quickly as he's healing the wound, they're giving us another one. It makes no sense.

That's why it's imperative that we find our own closure with Christ,

stitch up the wounds spiritually through the Holy Spirit and move forward.

I'm telling you, Sister, every time I have gone to Christ with my pain,

he has taken it and exchanged it for purpose and emotionally.

I keep touching my wounds to see if they still hurt,

but they don't.

At least not in the same way.

Logically,

my brain knows that the hurt was horrible,

but my heart feels whole again.

That is the healing power of the Holy Spirit at work.

Let me leave you with this, sis.

Hear me when I say this.

When it's time to say goodbye to someone or something,

go to God.

Give it to God.

Find your closure with Christ.

Now I'm going to ask you some questions.

Number one,

who have you been waiting on to give you closure or an apology?

Number two,

has holding on to the why delayed your healing?

Let's pray.

Heavenly Father,

you know every wound that's been inflicted on our hearts.

You know the betrayals,

the losses,

and the unanswered questions that we've carried today,

we surrender them all to youo.

We no longer need to understand why it happened or why they did it.

We only need to be healed by you.

Please stitch up our wounds with your perfect love.

We trust you to be our closure.

In the mighty and magnificent name of your son, Jesus Christ,

we pray.

Amen.

If this episode spoke to you,

I would love to pray for you personally.

Feel free to email me at ninapajonas@gmail.com, or you can DM me on Instagram @borntobeabutterfly, and don't forget to follow Born to be a Butterfly so you never miss an episode.

If you'd like to learn more about my journey of transformation and healing,

you can get my book From Broken to Butterfly on Amazon.

Until next time,

remember,

the Lord can turn your wounds into wings.

You were born to be a butterfly.